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Jeannie Jones
08-19-2008, 08:55 PM
Nafalia's on the phone and requests some assistance. Her words follow:

What I'm asking from everyone is this...my sister, Mary Jo, has Alzheimer's and her daughter, Carol Lynn, has always been there, and close to her mother.

My sister was put in assisted living 2 months ago and was told that she could stay there until she advanced, thinking that it would take a little while before she would need full secured care. Today at 1:30 Carol was told that her mother has to be moved out of where she's at and put in full secured care.

My request is not for my sister as much as for my niece. The bond and the love between her and her mother have always been very strong. This last year she has bent over backwards, jumped through hoops, and put her life on hold to make sure her mom was well cared for.

This has been a long and difficult year for Carol, and watching her mother deteriorate so quickly is tearing her apart. And today, knowing that the time had come for her mother to be put in a locked-down Alzheimer's unit, has been the most difficult of all the steps.

Carol goes over on her lunch hour every day, stops by on her way home from work in the evening, and takes her mother home with her on the week-ends. All of this will have to stop now, because the place that my sister will be going to is not close to Carol's work.

Fortunately my sister has a buck in her pocket and can afford an upscale full care service home. This in reality does not lessen the blow for her daughter.

I'm going to close this at this point, for I think anyone who has dealt with Alzheimer's or has not, understands the heartbreak of someone you love deteriorate before your eyes, knowing there is absolutely nothing you can do. Please send much love, light, and energy to Carol Lynn and to my sister Mary Jo's very confused mind, that this transition be as easy as possible, for the good of all concerned.

Thanks everyone once again for love and prayers, for hope and light,

Nafalia

PMilam
08-19-2008, 09:50 PM
My heart and prayers go out to both.
It is such a hard transition to go from having some freedom, to having none, and having no way to understand what is going on.
Very hard time for all concerned.

May they both find peace.

mtnviewsteve
08-19-2008, 09:57 PM
~LiGhT Blessings to Carol Lynn and to Mary Jo and YOU Sweet Warrior Nafalia~

DaBee
08-20-2008, 09:11 AM
May Mary Jo and Carol Lynn find ease and lightness in their current life situations, Nafalia.

Lamb Choppe
08-20-2008, 09:36 AM
How dreadful for both of them. My thoughts and prayers are with them both...and with Nafalia.

MotherMoon12
08-20-2008, 11:54 AM
I know how much this evil illness can hurt. I went through it with my mother. Much light and peace from here to Nafalia and all her family.

mtnviewsteve
08-20-2008, 12:16 PM
:cool:
~What a beautiful network of Love, Compassion & Healing~Blessings ALL~
:cool:

Raven
08-20-2008, 12:38 PM
My thoughts and prayers are with them

Annie2
08-20-2008, 03:55 PM
Watching someone you love slide into dementia is at least a 10 on the scale. Never was the old saying "one day at a time" more appropriate. My heart goes out to your family.

Jeannie Jones
08-20-2008, 09:00 PM
Reply to all from Nafalia:

To each of you...thank you so much for the compassion, love, and understanding of what is happening here.

My niece Carol was at my sister's apartment today for lunch, and when she was there Mary Jo wanted to talk to me, so Carol called me and said "Mom misses you and wants to talk with you".

I was on the phone with Mary Jo for about 20-25 minutes. Not one sentence made any sense at all. I understand that she cannot come to my world, so I just go to her world.

What I have come to realize with my sister is that if there is a hell, her mind is there. The confusion, the frustration, the inability to have cognitive speach...reaching out so desperately to try and communicate with no abilities left to do so...it is a sad disease. She slips away more and more each day.

This may sound cruel, but I don't mean it to sound that way, but I hope that her crossing over comes quickly and soon, for I can feel in her energy and hear in her voice the sadness, the melancholy and the feeling of isolation and being lost and not belonging anywhere, and that is why I said what I said.

I went through this with my mother. My mother was peaceful and calm and did not experience Alzheimer's in the same way Mary Jo is. Mary Jo cannot sit still, there is no peace anywhere within her, and I know she does not want to be that way and none of us want her to be like this.

Words cannot express how I feel when Jeannie reads me the beautiful words of comfort you've sent to me and mine.

Love,

Nafalia

DaBee
08-20-2008, 10:02 PM
HEART said something recently about this state of mind. I hope you step in here, Josie and help me out 'cause I don't want to misspeak. What I heard was that when the alzheimers happens, our minds are in a different reality, another plane of existence. That is comforting to me somehow. I guess the comfort comes from at least being able to place the alzheimer's (disease?) into some kind of category or niche.
It is difficult to discuss this.........so illusive.

jdelo
08-20-2008, 11:29 PM
I have been there and done that wih my dad, bless his heart. he still lives in the fog as we all do with him, he does not know who we are anymore. It is so very devastating to go through this, and one does not know what the patient knows, but we that are the care takes, know, and I send prayers and as much peace as the family can find in each other as they share this horrible journey. Blessings, to you all.

Jeannie Jones
08-21-2008, 07:29 PM
Nafalia's on the phone with an update to the situation. Her words follow:

My niece Carol called a meeting today of Mary Jo's immediate family, and the following decisions were made:

Carol is going to cut her hours to part-time, and fortunately she is a cabinet designer that's been with this company for several years, and her boss is fine with it.

Angie, Mary Jo's granddaughter, works for Liberty Tax, does taxes, and she can work at night. She explained the situation to her boss, and he's fine with it.

So Mary Jo will be coming to her daughter's home tomorrow. Angie will be with her during the day and Danny and Carol will be there at night.

Danny knows a lady who has a lot of experience in the care of Alzheimer's patients, who has agreed to come and stay with Mary Jo for whatever length of time they need her, when everybody needs a break, 'cause you have to have that break.

When Carol went to get Mary Jo for lunch today she said to her "Mom, how would you like to come live with me?" And Mary Jo got all excited and said, "Oh, I'd like that! And I can take care of your dogs when you're at work."

When Carol drove up to Culpepper place which is where Mary Jo is staying, Mary Jo told her "I'm not going in there!" Carol told her, "Yes you are, Mom." Mary Jo said "I'm not getting out of this car". Carol said "Yes you are, Mom".

Carol told her mom, "You just have to stay here one more night, and when I get off work tomorrow I'll come get you and take you home". Mary Jo said, "If that's what I have to do, that's what I have to do". So she was willing to spend one more night there, understanding at the moment that she'll be going home tomorrow.

I'm very proud of my niece and my great-niece and Mary Jo's family for not wanting to put her in a rest home. It is as Carol says, "We will do it as long as it is possible for us to do it, and I feel like I've had a ton lifted off me, knowing that my mom will not be isolated and alone. I just could not stand the thought of her dying in a place where she was unhappy".

As we will it, so shall it be,

Nafalia

DaBee
08-22-2008, 10:27 AM
My heart is singing for Mary Jo and her whole family. I love love and when love is purely and selflessly displayed as it is right here with Carol and Angie...........well, my heart goes into a major operatic performance! I know that you are delighted beyond imagining for your sis, NN. Please tell your family how they have touched my heart.

deb

PMilam
08-23-2008, 10:14 PM
They are all blessed by the love and devotion they are expressing.
May they continue to be so blessed.

mtnviewsteve
08-23-2008, 10:52 PM
~New Beginnings and Happy Ending~Blessings ALL~