Jhawkr
01-29-2005, 08:40 AM
Did they actually pass the bar exam?
The Law and Lawyers
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
_______________ __________________
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
_______________ __________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
_______________ ___________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_______________ ___________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something that you've forgotten?
_______________ ______________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_______________ ______________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I. Doris?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_______________ _______________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
_______________ _______________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_______________ ___________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
A: He's twenty
_______________ ___________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
_______________ _____________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
_______________ ___________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
_______________ __________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_______________ ___________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
______________ ___________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_______________ ___________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_______________ __________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
_______________ ___________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
_______________ ___________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
_______________ ___________________
AND TO SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST!!!!!!
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive,nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere
The Law and Lawyers
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
_______________ __________________
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
_______________ __________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
_______________ ___________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_______________ ___________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something that you've forgotten?
_______________ ______________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_______________ ______________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I. Doris?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_______________ _______________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
_______________ _______________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_______________ ___________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
A: He's twenty
_______________ ___________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
_______________ _____________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
_______________ ___________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
_______________ __________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_______________ ___________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
______________ ___________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_______________ ___________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_______________ __________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
_______________ ___________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
_______________ ___________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
_______________ ___________________
AND TO SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST!!!!!!
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive,nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere