View Full Version : How chocolate was invented

06-18-2002, 07:54 PM
Have you ever wondered who invented those divine pieces known as chocolates?
Purely Accidental, a genius scientist before the invention of rockets.
Dr. Accidental was working on improving the length of string beans
And accidentally mixed up some cocoa with a mess of his greens.

Of course, being the Accidental genius that he was, he spilled the whole works on the floor.
His assistant, Emmy Chocolate, slid..... falling face first into the mess as she came thru the door.
As she rose to her feet, she told Purely his concoction was a disaster and tasted gawd awful.
She bought his recipe for a dollar, went home and brewed up a trough full.

Omitting the greens and sometimes adding a few nuts,
She developed a chocolate that really kicked butts.
Emmy and Pete Chocolate tossed around a few names for their new treat.
Peter thought they should carry his last name and be called Chocolates by Pete.

Pete had a slight stutter when it came to his wife's name.
No matter what he tried, it all came out the same.
Instead of calling out Emmy, it was always Em-Em.
Being a selfish girl, it would not be named after him.

Hence, she named those round dobs of chocolate shaped like rims
After herself and they're known world wide as Chocolate M & Ms.
For herself, she kept the copyrights on the recipe.
When Pete asked for his share, he was told to go water a tree.

Now what happened to Purely, you're asking yourself.
Did he take such a fooling and just sit on a shelf?
Hell no! He invented the exploding bottle rocket,
But forgot when he sat down it was still in his pocket.

It was Purely Accidental's most sensitive parts splattered onto the walls,
Throughout the great room, past the dining area and down the winding halls.
He became the world's first rocket scientist to invent the workable prosthetic device,
Leaving us the knowledge that chocolate candy is dandy, but batteries are twice as nice.

06-21-2002, 10:00 PM
S&L Did you see on one of the TV shows where chocolate baths are the new rage? Finally a chocolate bunny with something worth licking on in the inside!

06-21-2002, 10:45 PM
Lord a mighty, old guy! It sounds like a wonderous thing, but wouldn't you kind of crack and pop when you started moving after the chocolate hardened? I mean, it could be rather revealing, but it certainly would encourage me to pick up after myself.

I am still pondering the inside bunny remark as I have never contemplated doing anything to the inside of a bunny other than ripping that drum out of the paws of the darned Energizer bunny. Haven't seen him lately; might be road kill. Anyone for hausen phepher? I know, I know...I DON'T know how to spell that word and I don't have a German spell checker.

06-22-2002, 09:31 AM
S&L Come on not all chocolate gets hard when It gets cold. I put it on my Ice cream all the time. That the stuff to take a dip in. I better stop now. I think I'm getting visions and there ain't no bunny in them!

Becky Davis
06-22-2002, 09:53 AM
I just got a bunch of the dipping kind for a chocolate fondue pot. Yummy.
I think Oldguy is referring to Hershey's syrup. OR could be, all that body heat would keep it liquid.

06-23-2002, 11:00 AM
BD&SL in a fun-do pot of chocolate Hershey's I got some spray topping. Sounds like a super sunday. This is the kind of problems that would bring us all closer.

06-23-2002, 12:20 PM
Did you get your invite to old guy's fun-doings in his chocolate pot? Me neither. Some old guy somewhere is having waaay too much fun by himself. Guess we'll have to get the computer police to check for chocolate stained keyboards to find out where the party is/was.

becsflowers: I think I hear another business opportunity for your thongs...that chocolate dipping sauce that hardens and won't melt and.....dare I say it? ....won't crack. tee hee! Maybe we can convince you and Becky to open a shop together....pottery, sewing and thongs....ceramic thongs? I can see the shop sign now: Bec and Beck...and they're running Bec and Beck. Oh dear...my system is suffering from a severe chocolate shortage which shall be rectified immediately.

06-23-2002, 04:32 PM
Ladies if you do open a thong shop ceramic or not. Dim lights hot fudge and honies will draw a crowd. It will be better than a Honker in the window.

06-23-2002, 04:58 PM
Aren't ANY of you OLD enough to remember"edible underwear"? It was like this rolled out flat piece of red licorice cut into bikini panties with black licorice string ties at the sides... VERY popular gag (?) gift in the 70's....
Yes, Bec&Beck sounds good....
sounds kinda RICH doesn't it!?
Now, just what IS a honker in the window? Is that what we will have to call the curious shop peepers when we start dippin in the chocolate?

Becky Davis
06-23-2002, 05:55 PM
They still make edible underwear Bec. Maby edible thongs too.

06-23-2002, 07:29 PM
What the heck are honies? Gads, I guess we've been too remote for too long. As I recall, which may or may not be biased, I believe a honker in the window was a dead goose or dead duck....something with feathers that formerly honked. Except for the feathers when I occasionally ran afowl (sic) of Tyson's Coop, it could have been the Hupmobile honking horn.

06-24-2002, 08:18 AM
Honies? Is that something you dip in chocolate and then dunk in your coffee?

06-27-2002, 02:04 PM
Who invented edible undies anyway? They are kind of silly. It's like having to eat the taters to get to the steak!

Mabion Rain O'Brien
06-27-2002, 03:30 PM
Oldguy, so just eat away a little hole in the middle!

06-27-2002, 04:54 PM
Just answer me this:

06-27-2002, 09:10 PM
That would be you and S&L and me with no spellcheck
A Honker is a Honk thats glad to see you it is more about fur than feathers

06-27-2002, 09:36 PM
I guess that means it's not a gun in his pocket.

06-28-2002, 10:30 AM
Or a feather in his cap...???
HA HA HA! I'm HOWLIN! You are TOO funny!

07-02-2002, 10:11 AM
Well S&L it is a gun. It's a fun gun he he he. Do you know what Adem Told Eve the first time he saw her naked? Stand back I don't how big this thing gonna get!

07-02-2002, 07:58 PM
Eve stood where she was planted and that's when the need for magnifying glasses was discovered....also a remedy for deep seated depression.

just wondering
07-03-2002, 06:59 AM
Never eat an apple from the bottom of the barrel.

07-03-2002, 09:39 PM
Why in Edan would Adam eat a apple when Eve was standing their leafless?
If I would have been there I wouldn't had time fur any apple we would all still be naked and sin wouldn't be any fun. Wait I'm glad I missed that one.

just wondering
07-04-2002, 07:27 AM
If there was a sales tax on food, a CAPC tax on barrels, a park tax on barrels in public parks, that apple would still be in the barrel.