A poem about my life (not humorous) (sorry)

[Chelseas_mommy]

Ya know, today when I went to eat with my daughter, there were locals who kept whispering about me to eachother. I didn't feel akward or weird, just a little peeved...AND I wrote a poem about it.

Please do not judge me,
For what I chose to be,
I might be a teenage mother,
But there is so much more to me,

I know you’re glad I’m not your daughter,
Because I know that you’d be ashamed,
Of having a pregnant single teen daughter,
Without willing to have a father to name,

I see the way to look at me,
I hear the whispers that you speak,
You say that I am way too young,
And my spirit is too weak,

You say that you would ground your daughter,
Until she’s twenty-three,
If she ever got in my position,
And was sitting here with me,

I think that I will tell you something,
And I know we’ll disagree,
There is something wrong with you,
And nothing wrong with me,

You think the rest of my life is wasted,
You preach what you don’t know,
You will not comfort my daughter at night,
You will not watch her grow,

My friends are out partying,
Well into the night,
I’m lecturing my daughter,
On how it’s wrong to bite,

My friends all went to prom,
And are going to the lake,
I rock my daughter and I pray,
That soon her fever will break,

You’re daughter is responsible,
I always hear you say,
But your daughter could be me,
Any given day,

I am not ashamed,
So don’t be ashamed for me,
I did not ask for your opinion,
I didn’t ask for your pity,

I don’t need it or want it,
I am happy being mommy,
I’m proud to be a single teen mom,
And I’m proud of my daughter, Chelsea,

And even though I play duel-roles,
As mommy and daddy,
It’s not as hard as it looks,
I love the life I lead,

All I ask is this from you,
Do not judge me until you meet me,
Deep down I am a wonderful person,
Who is happy as happy can be.

Well, there it is. That is in response to the people who tell me that I am stupid, ignorant and irresponsible and a bad mother for giving life so young.


Jamie Williams

[Malone]

Jamie: I would not know you if you walked into my shop right now.
You seem to have yourself together more than some "adults" I know.
Your poem was very touching.

[PMilam]

Thanks, Jamie.
You are absolutely correct, "But your daughter could be me". There is too much finger pointing, name calling, and downright meanness in this world... and way too many of the "responsible adults" don't have a clue that it could very well be their own daughter.. or son. Sounds like you are doing great!
Bless you and Chelsea.
Patt

[Mabion Rain O'Brien]

Jamie that was beautiful, and also very true. I think you are doing a wonderful job and I know this town can't be making it much easier. One of the best mothers I know had her daughter at 13 and she's 23/24 now. You can do it hunny, the both of you will be just fine.

[memyself&I]

I, too, am a single mother. I know how you feel being both the mother and the father. I was 21 when I had my little boy, and I know how hard it was at that age, so I cannot imagine the difficulty as a teen. Our children are the best things in life...Thank you for your words of wisdom.

[Mabion Rain O'Brien]

memyself&I mind if I ask you do you still live in Eureka or have you relocated elsewhere in AR? Not to sould like a biotch, just trying to figure out if you're someone I know or not.

[memyself&I]

I still live near Eureka....do I know you?

[chelseas-grandma]

http://www.geekfest.com/ubb/biggrin.gif First and foremost, I would like to say, we are very proud of our daughter and our grand daughter. Chelsea came in to our lives at a wonderful point. Our kids were growing up and having their own lives to live, we have always pretty much revolved our lives around our kids. We were wondering what we were going to do since our kids were going out on their own. Then Chelsea came along and we can still play and be kids ourselves. We did not think it was wonderful when we first heard we were going to be grandparents, but it has turned out to be one more filled place in our hearts that we didn't realize was empty until Chelsea came along.
Pat you are right, there is too much finger pointing and judgement in the world. We have gone to dinner in town, with our daughter and granddaughter, people will come around and comment on how beautiful "our" baby is and ask how old she is. When we say our "grand dauughter" is 10 months old, they automatically look at our daughter and you can see a different look they give her versus the look they gave us. I guess they think it's ok for people in their mid 40's and 50's to have a child, but not an 18 year old. We have told our daughter, it doesn't matter what other people think of her and her daughter, it's what she thinks of herself and her daughter that matters. These people that give her "that look" doesn't know that she is a wonderful mother, she works and started college a year ahead of when she was supposed to. They just judge. Our daughter and grand daughter does live with us, but don't take that wrong...she raises the baby, she is momma and daddy to her, not us. We play with the baby, we spoil the baby. She pays for food, clothes, everything...yes we quite often can't pass up a toy or cute clothes we want to buy for Chelsea, but that's what other grandparents do too. I won't go on a rant or give too much advice to potential grandparents...but I would like to say, if you get a "surprise", don't just automatically think that your daughter has royally messed up her life and yours, I made that mistake, there is not a day that goes by that I don't remember thinking that, and I was so wrong. My daughter has matured beyond belief. Her every thought is of her daughter. My every thought when I see that baby is how proud of her and her momma I am.

And that's all I have to say about this.

[This message has been edited by chelseas-grandma (edited 06-21-2002).]

[sweetness&light]

How very nice to see a supportive mother/grandmother and just remember about those finger pointers///they've got a whole lot of pointing material rattling around in their closets.

[snowdiva]

Since you brought this up and I don't know you from Adam....I'd like to be able to say my part. If I understand this correctly, you had a baby at 13 years of age. May I ask with all due respect, why was a girl of such a young age was having sex? I know you are proud of your baby and I don't blame you, I love babies very much....but, you should have been able to finish having your childhood, and having "being mature beyond your years" go to someone a tad older.Lets get this straight right now, in no way am I saying your baby isn't worth all the sacrificies in the world, Iam just saying, you should have had and deserve a childhood, teenage crushes, proms, first love, going steady, slumber parties, talking on the phone with your friends, etc...I wish you and your sweet baby well..this is just my opinion, you guys had yours, and I've seen how you all can gang up on someone that doesn't agree with all of you.So, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tear me apart for feeling like this child should have been able to have a childhood and teenage life.By the way, why isn't the father doing what a father is suppose to do? HE should be helping her raise this baby, or hasn't he heard of child support? Guys can go to jail for not paying child support and they should.O.K., now you can start on me......

[This message has been edited by snowdiva (edited 06-22-2002).]

[Becky Davis]

Snow Diva, Jamie has been posting for a couple of years. I think she is an older teen who had plans to go to college. And did for awhile, I think.
Another poster was speaking of a lady she knew who had a child at thirteen and is a great mother today some eleven years later.
Jamie has taken responsibility for her actions. I admire her for not taking the easy way out and having her child. I admire the whole family for accepting this baby with open loving arms.
You are right in today's world thirteen is still a child. Our culture has set the limits on sex, not young people. Their bodies are programmed to send out and receive those fairmones early on, whether society likes it or not.
The greatest mother known to the world was only fourteen when her son was born. Our blessed mother, the Virgin Mary.
In other words, the longer we live, the later society wants us to start sex.
P.S. Jamie, I hope you don't lose that dream of going to school. It is even more important now.
Someday you will be glad that you look so young.



[This message has been edited by Becky Davis (edited 06-22-2002).]

[sweetness&light]

60 sounds like a good age to me. snort! Ok, so we probably wouldn't be here. Let me ponder that idea for awhile.

[Becky Davis]

It is okay to have sex at sixty Sweetness. Though most young people would think it is ridiculous. Especially if it is their parents.
You are sixty and still having what?!!!! Yuck!!
Well, we learn as we go.

[Chelseas_mommy]

OUCH!!!

This will be a slam to you, Re-read all the posts, first what I said, then what my mom said and would realize that I was 17, not 13, when I had my daughter. My daughter IS worth all the sacrifices in the world. I would gladly die a thousand deaths, so she would NEVER feel an ounce of pain!!

And about her 'sperm-donor'. He put me in the hospital and there is a restraining order on him, and if he paid child support, he would have visitation rights and can you guarantee that he won't hurt my daughter or run off with her? If you can't, then do me a favor and quit trying to tell the tale of a life you don't know.

I was already out of school when I got pregnant, so I did go to proms and I was a cheerleader for heavens sakes, I went to Homecoming, I had friends, I went partying!! I had a childhood. I was 17, my childhood was barely there anymore, I was almost an adult. After I had her in August, I started school in January, which I finished my first year of college already with very good grades and I am waiting until she's a year old to go back. I work full-time, I still go have fun, I go on dates, but I just get home before her bedtime. If you are a parent, then you have no idea the degree of how much you burned yourself in your own post, I don't care how old you are when you have a kid, the fact is, it's yours until the day you die and you would do anything that you could to protect it from any harm. NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE!!! My best friend will be 18 Oct. 11 and she just gave birth to her 2nd child May 19th and she is a great mother, while doing it by herself because her husband works all the time. Do you honestly think that we were immature? If we were immature, we would have 'taken care' of our 'problem' and wouldn't be posting about our beautiful kids. We became adults/parents the moment that little blue line appeared and decided to give this child life. It seems to me that maybe you need to do a little growing up yourself and next time that you decide to post about my life, make sure you have at least one thing that's true in the post.
Jamie Williams

[snowdiva]

Thank you for your kind reply, it was my mistake to think you were not a mature adult. By the way, reread MY POST...I said " if I understand this correctly..."

[This message has been edited by snowdiva (edited 06-22-2002).]

[This message has been edited by snowdiva (edited 06-22-2002).]

[memyself&I]

Snowdiva, there are many people out there that are single mothers and the father is not even in the picture. In my case, the father shows no interest, and that is in the best interest for my child. I also call my child's father the "Sperm Donor". In this state, I feel that the fathers are "requested" to pay child support, if you can get their papers served or get them to show up for court. Then it is a small amount that won't even pay for weekly childcare. Then there is the stipulation that they can sue for custody once they pay child support on a regular basis. As for the "Guys can go to jail for not paying child support and they should."...the State of Arkansas, at least in the areas of jail overcrowding like here, it is a rare occasion when someone is arrested for failure to pay child support. I heard this exact statement come out of the mouth of a former county deputy. Once they haven't seen the child or paid support for a year, you can, as the custodial parent, file for Termination of Parental Rights, but that is also a very rare occasion in this area...Believe me from experience.

As for the girl that had a baby at age 13, things are not supposed to happen that way, but sometimes it does...and I admire them for taking the responsibility for their actions. They, at 13, probably had all those things you talked about...first love, teenage crushes, slumber parties, etc...who knows? Could have been what got them into the situation they are in...but if they have the courage and strength to overcome it and take care of their child, then I say, GREAT JOB!!! I know a girl who had a baby at 14. She was raised in church, and happened to get pregnant at a church function. These things happen. These babies are not ACCIDENTS. God put those children here. I believe that everything that takes place is due to it being God's will...not our own.

I hope you do not take this as anything but an opinion from someone with the same experiences.

[snowdiva]

To memyself...thank you. You put your opinion in an adult and kind manner, which I appreciate. I was only concerned for what I thought to be a thirteen year old. My mistake....again, thanks.

[DJred]

Despite the controversy of ones opinion and misunderstanding. I say it was still a good poem. Bravo Zulu! hehe